I left a few loose ends there didn't I? I couldn't write much about the winding down of the trip or my own reflections on the entire six month experience because on January 20th I hopped on a flight back to the states and conspired with my aunt and friend to surprise my mom. Her reaction was priceless and made all the scheming well worth it. That being said, I want to talk a bit about the end of the trip and my adjustment in coming back home.
The last month in Australia was so different than the rest of the experience - much more western for one, but full of some amazing people who left quite the impression on me. Camping with Amanda and Niv was such a fun experience and I hope to do much more of it back in the states (once this snow clears up that is). Amanda's family was nice enough to let me stay with them in Sydney for my last week and we had a blast playing in the pool with her adorable niece, having family BBQs, crashing an intimate Brazilian's birthday party as the only non-Portuguese speakers, playing foosball in a mansion at 2am, attempting to surf, and bicycling around North Curl-Curl. It was sunny, beautiful, relaxing and fun. I could totally live in Australia.
Amanda and I said goodbye to Niv (another new lifelong friend) and I was able to reconnect with a friend Ben who I had traveled with in Burma. He had come back to Australia early and the stars aligned for us to meet up. So many great conversations that will have a lasting impact. One in particular sticks with me. Niv and I were sitting out by the campfire one night talking about politics, religion, the afterlife and reincarnation (obviously), and shared some of our own beliefs and personal experiences. I was having a hard time dealing with some stuff in the past (losses of people and relationships more specifically) and he said "Evelyn, don't go backwards - your life should always keep moving forward and getting better. Looking backwards won't do you any good." Rehashing old relationships lost and stressing over details of how things were left with family and friends that have passed away can be good to an extent, but there comes a point where its time to move forwards and focus on the new.
I was reminded of this recently when I went back to Chicago to visit friends. It immediately felt like being home and I felt such a draw to go back to my old life - I could easily find a job and have my great friend circle and life back just like that. So why shouldn't I? It would be so easy. My conversation with Niv popped into my head and I realized that while I could hop back into my old life, it would be different because I am different. I want new things. I want a challenge. Who knows what the future will hold and if some day I'll return to my old stomping grounds, but if I do it should be with new goals and challenges.
Looking back can remind us of who we once were at various stages of our life. But looking forward can allow us to imagine an even better self - and shouldn't we always be striving for self improvement? I never want to feel stagnant. So while I am still weighing my options and figuring out my next path in life, I can guarantee it will be full of challenging trials that will make me that much stronger.
All for now...
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